


Dollhouse

by ZoneRobotnik



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dollhouse AU, F/M, bill can't help but love these small ones, pyronica adores them too, the twins adore their space parents and uncles, wendy found journal 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-20 11:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoneRobotnik/pseuds/ZoneRobotnik
Summary: When Bill goes to shut down an auction-house for nonpayment, he never expected to find members of Stanford's family, stolen from Earth! Looks like he's not the only one that needs to get to Earth now.





	1. Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

October 31st, 2011. It was a day that the Pines family would remember forever, with heavy hearts. Stan Pines sighed and hung up the phone, sitting back in his office chair.  
  
“Mr. Pines?” His employee, Soos, walked up to his desk. “Uhm...good news? Bad news?”  
  
“They're calling off the search.” Stan said glumly. “There's no leads. Nothing but a bright light to go off of.”  
  
“O-Oh...” Soos looked down sadly. “So...those kids...?”  
  
“Damn it...not again...” Stan took off his glasses and wiped at his eyes. “I can't...I can't do this again. What is wrong with this world? Who would...they're just _kids_...”  
  
Soos walked over and wrapped his arms around the older man and he finally let go of the tears he was holding back.  
  
“I'm sure we'll find them. Just because the police have stopped, doesn't mean everyone will.” Soos said encouragingly.  
  
“I hope you're right...” Stan picked up a framed photo of two smiling kids with identical faces. “I really hope you're right...”  
  
–  
  
How much time had passed? Dipper Pines stared out the bars of their cage, his hand tight in his sister's. The guard had just brought them food, practically forcing it down their throats, and then left them alone to move on to one of the other cages. He wiped at his mouth and noticed how stained his police costume had gotten from him doing that so many times. Sighing, he sat back next to his sister and looked at her. “Mabel?”  
  
“Mm?” She looked up at him from poking at a hole in her robber costume.  
  
“Do you think we're going to be okay?” He asked.  
  
“...When I asked you that, you said you were sure we would be. Now you're not so sure?” Mabel sighed.  
  
“Well, I can't be the strong one forever. It's your turn to reassure me.” Dipper said, his brow furrowed. “Please?”  
  
“Okay.” Mabel sat up a bit. “I'm sure we're going to be okay. Something...someone will save us, I'm sure.”  
  
The giant door opened up and another kid was brought in and put in a cage. There was a mark on him, just like all the others. They didn't have any marks, though. Was it something you got from being in space too long?  
  
The guard said something to the guy that brought in the kid and then they both walked out, chortling. The door closed behind them.  
  
“Hey...you don't have any marks.” The new kid commented, looking at them. He had a bit of an accent, and he was quite a bit older than them. Actually, they all were. “How long ago did they take you? Have you had a master yet?”  
  
“A...a what?” Dipper frowned.  
  
“They don't know. They're new to this.” The new kid's cage-mate sighed. “Probably freshly plucked from Earth. I remember those days.”  
  
“What's Earth?” Another kid asked.  
  
“You don't know Earth?” Mabel frowned.  
  
“My mother was a slave. I'm bought from a breeder. Got tested for quality and everything.” The kid seemed almost... _proud_ of that. He had a bit of a heavy accent, like English wasn't his first language.  
  
Come to think of it, this was the first time any of these kids had talked to them. Dipper supposed they were all just waiting for someone else to do it first.  
  
“Hey, uhm...you understand those guys, right?” Mabel asked. “Where are we going?”  
  
“The next destination is the last one.” One of the ones that had been in there when they got kidnapped said. “The Auction House in the Nightmare Realm.”  
  
“I hear the king of that place is reeeeeeally scary.” Another kid commented.  
  
“I heard he's kind of hot. But then, my _master_ said that, so...” His cage-mate shrugged.  
  
“How long has it been since you were taken?” The newest one asked.  
  
“I don't...know.” Dipper admitted.  
  
“Time passes differently out here.” One of the kids said sympathetically.  
  
The guard came in and said something and the other kids were silent from then on. Dipper sighed and scooted closer to his sister, wondering what fate had in store for them.  
  
–  
  
“ _Ahhh, lovely! I heard this one was coming. And I remember your mother, such a beauty, I saw her at a party.” The auctioneer grinned at the breeder's kid. “And what have we here? New faces?” He leered at Dipper and Mabel. “And such pretty ones, too! Oh, they'll fetch a good price for sure! We'll start with these two. Young, fresh, untouched, people will go crazy for them!_ ”  
  
Dipper and Mabel looked at each other in confusion. “Did you understand anything he said?” Dipper asked her.  
  
“It's gibberish to me.” Mabel shrugged.  
  
“ _Hurry, hurry now! Let's get them all set up! The auction starts in a half-hour!_ ” The giant auctioneer slithered away on his tentacles and the cages were hauled up and carried after him.  
  
They were set on a giant table and something was pointed at them, projecting their image on a screen behind the table. Dipper moved to cover his sister protectively, though he was feeling terrified himself.  
  
“ _Alright, let's open the doors and get this party started!_ ” The auctioneer said into his microphone as he clapped his hands.  
  
The giant doors were opened and all manner of aliens piled in, taking their seats and looking at the projected image of the twins hungrily. Dipper and Mabel clung to each other for dear life.  
  
“ _Welcome, welcome! We all know how this goes, but for the newcomers I will say it. I am presenting human slaves to bid for, and when I call out a number you will go higher. Then the price goes higher and higher with everyone calling out prices until finally someone's number can't be beat. And then, to the victor goes the spoils! So, without any further ado, let's get started!”_ The auctioneer slapped his hands again and grinned. “ _Can I get 25 Vix? 25? Nice. Can I get 30? 30 Vix? Ah, good. How about 35?_ ”  
  
“ _How about 9,999,965 Vix?_ ”  
  
-  
  
The crowd hushed and the auctioneer paled a bit as a few imposing figures stepped into the building.  
  
“That’s taking 35 Vix off the 10,000,000 Vix you owe me for having this place set up in my dimension for the past fifteen years.” The leader said with a grin as he walked down the aisle.  
  
“B-Bill Cipher!” The auctioneer said nervously.  
  
“Did you honestly think that just because I was occupied that you wouldn’t have to pay?” Bill asked coolly, walking past the crowd of people. “So, I’ll take these kids and the 9,999,965 you otherwise owe me. Otherwise, we’re shutting you down tonight.” He smiled at him like a shark ready to lunge.  
  
The auctioneer cringed. “I-I don’t have the money right now…but I DO have other slaves, if you’re interested?” The auctioneer offered.  
  
“I’m not interested in any of your other stock. Besides, I can tell that these two are the only ones you have that aren’t used. I don’t buy used goods.” Bill said coldly.  
  
“W-Well, maybe we can…come up with a payment plan?” The auctioneer asked nervously.  
  
“You agreed to pay the 666,666.66 Vix per year. You haven’t paid up even ONE year yet, and so now you’re paying up tonight or we’re shutting you down and taking your LIFE as payment.” Bill snapped.  
  
“But, sir–”  
  
“I HAVE BEEN MORE THAN PATIENT WITH YOU, GLECHVORB!” Bill roared, his eye turning red. “PAY UP NOW OR PAY THE FINAL PRICE!”  
  
“I-I’ll figure something out!” He fled for the back.  
  
“We’ll take the remaining stock. Pacifier, go get him and bring him to the castle. Keyhole, unlock these cages and start rounding up the slaves. We’ll take them to our castle, find some use for them. Not as food. Pyronica, take these two to my private chambers and get them cleaned up and changed into something nicer. Everyone else, GET OUT.” He turned to the crowd of people and they fled the building faster than Bill could blink. Good.  
  
“Why do you want these two, hm?” Pyronica asked as Keyhole unlocked the cage so she could take the trembling human children out of it. “Aww, don’t be scared. He’s not gonna eat ya.”  
  
“I don’t like human meat.” Bill grinned. “That guy, though? I’m having HIM for dinner.”  
  
The children whimpered and sobbed, clinging to each other.  
  
“Oh, shit, I don’t think they can understand us.” Pyronica commented.  
  
“That’ll change once we’re in the castle. I forgot the slaves weren’t given the ability to understand what’s going on in this building.” Bill walked over and placed his hand on the podium. “This building’s been tainted by his filth. Time to burn it down and rebuild.”  
  
“You didn’t answer my question.” Pyronica reminded him.  
  
“The boy. He looks like him.” Bill said, glancing at the children.  
  
“Looks like who?” Pyronica asked.  
  
“Stanford.” Bill smiled a bit. “Which means…they’re probably his family. And that means I now have something to use as bait.”  
  
“Ahhh, okay. I wondered why you were being strangely…philanthropic.” Pyronica shrugged and headed for the exit.  
  
Bill looked at the projected image one more time before following her and Keyhole out, snapping his fingers and setting the building ablaze behind him as Pacifier dragged the screaming auctioneer out of the building.  
  
((A/N: Here's a picture of Bill's grand entrance! http://zonerobotnik.tumblr.com/post/170093554197/can-i-get-25-vix-25-can-i-get-30-30-vix-how ))

 


	2. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins are brought to their new home. But is it safe? Bill and Pyronica welcome them with introductions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

“What's going to happen to us?” Mabel asked anxiously as they were taken into a giant bedroom.  
  
“I don't know...” Dipper frowned. “Do you think we were...bought?”  
  
“Uhm...more like stolen?” Mabel shrugged. “Nice bed over there.”  
  
“Yeah, uhm, kind of not trying to think of the fact were taken to a giant bedroom.” Dipper shook his head.  
  
“Relax, Bill's not that kinda' guy.” The giant woman carrying them said as she set them down outside a...house. “Alright, let's see what's in here.” She opened the house and they realized it was a dollhouse. Only...it was a normal house to them. The horned giantess hummed to herself as she opened the closets and picked out actual clothes for the twins. “Well, if these don't fit you can talk to Bill about it. He materialized this for you two on the way here.” She handed them the clothes and shut the building again. “Go on in and change. There's two bedrooms, so you don't need to share.”  
  
“Uhm...thanks.” Dipper said, heading in with Mabel.  
  
She smiled and waved at them as they went in. By the time they came out, dressed in a pink dress and blue button-down pajamas, Bill had joined her. “Hey, guys. Time for you meet your savior. This is Bill Cipher. Oh yeah, I'm Pyronica.” She introduced.  
  
“Why...can we understand you now?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Because I made it so you could.” Bill said cheerfully with a grin. They flinched back and he closed his mouth a bit. “I see we'll have to work up to you feeling comfortable around me. Hungry?” He set down a small plate of food.  
  
Well, small to him. To the kids, it was a huge platter and they were so excited to see real food and not the glob they'd been eating that they tore into it with no resistance.  
  
Then Dipper realized something and looked at Bill. “Uhm...what are we eating?”  
  
“It's not human. I don't eat human meat and I'm not going to be feeding _humans_ human meat. I mean, geez, I _work_ with humans.” Bill rolled his eyes.  
  
“So...?” Dipper glanced at the meat.  
  
“It's zebra.” Bill chuckled. “Zebra meat. All of this is food from Earth.”  
  
“Zebra?” Mabel looked up in surprise, a bit of meat bin her mouth. Then she swallowed and looked at it curiously. “I've never had zebra meat before!”  
  
“It's good to try exotic foods every now and then.” Bill grinned.  
  
“Well, as long as we're not eating dog or cat.” Mabel nodded.  
  
“Make a list of what you won't eat and it won't be on your plate.” Bill promised.  
  
“Well, I'm going to go check on the other kids. You three have fun!” Pyronica walked out, shutting the door behind her.  
  
Bill took a seat in the chair she just left and smiled, this time keeping his lips closed.  
  
“So, uhm...Mr. Cipher, was it?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Yeah?” Bill chuckled.   
  
“Why did you...save us?” Dipper asked.  
  
“I was shutting the place down anyway.” Bill shrugged.  
  
“So...why are we the only ones in your dollhouse?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Because you're innocent. I like that. Your minds are pure and a relief to me after being around so many twisted people.” Bill said matter-of-factly. “Now, I have some things to attend to, but this dollhouse works like any normal house on your world. All the features work, lights, plumbing, everything's real. Even the books. I picked out a few good children's books for you to read, based on my knowledge of your world.”  
  
“You're going away?” Dipper asked.  
  
“I'll be back.” Bill assured him. “Finish eating and then go to bed. It's late, you've had a long, stressful day. I'll see you tomorrow.” He started to get up.  
  
“Can you kiss me on the head?” Mabel asked.  
  
Bill looked at her, surprised. “Can I what?”  
  
“Can you kiss me on the head?” Mabel repeated with a smile. “Mom always kisses me on the head when I go to sleep.”  
  
Bill shrugged. “Alright. Come here.” He extended a giant hand and Mabel climbed onto it. Then he brought it up to his face and lightly pressed his lips to the top of her head. “There. Now go to sleep.” He set her down and then got up. “I'll be back in a little while.”  
  
Mabel giggled. “Bye-bye!” She waved as he went to the door and opened it.  
  
“Sleep well, kids.” Bill smiled, then paused and went back to the dollhouse. “I didn't get your names.”  
  
“I'm Mabel Pines, and this is my brother Dipper!” Mabel beamed up at him.  
  
“Hm, too complicated to remember. I'll just call you 'Pine Tree' and 'Shooting Star'.” He grinned.  
  
“Whaaat?” Dipper frowned a bit.  
  
“What, don't like my nicknames?” Bill asked. “I kid. Honestly, it's just not good to have people out here knowing your names. To everyone but me, you're 'Pine Tree' and 'Shooting Star'. Got that?” He poked each of them in the chest very lightly in turn, indicating which was which.  
  
“Okay.” Dipper nodded.  
  
“I like them!” Mabel smiled.  
  
“Good!” Bill nodded and then got up again. “I'll see you both later. Go to sleep.” He walked to the door and clapped his hands, making the room darken and light up with glowing little stars and a moon visible from the dollhouse. “Good night.” He smiled and closed the door behind him.  
  
“He's nice.” Mabel smiled at Dipper.  
  
“Let's finish eating. I am kind of tired.” Dipper admitted.  
  
“I don't know if we can finish all of this tonight.” Mabel laughed a bit.  
  
“Well...maybe we can save some for later? Oh, hey, let's see if there's a fridge!” Dipper got up and headed into the house.  
  
Mabel continued eating, and looked up as he came out. “Well?”  
  
“There isn't any. I guess we'll just have to finish what we can and leave the rest.” Dipper shrugged and sat down to continue eating from the platter.  
  
By the time they were done, they were hearing the door open and Bill was walking in with some kind of device in his hands. He walked over and grabbed the chair to slide it over to a desk, then paused to look at them. “You're still up?”  
  
“We just finished eating.” Mabel grinned, getting up. “Good night, Mr. Cipher!”  
  
“Uh-huh. Night, kids.” He rolled the chair away and then sat down in it at his desk, looking over the device intently.  
  
“See you tomorrow.” Mabel smiled at Dipper and skipped inside.  
  
“Uhm...should we leave the platter here?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Sure, go ahead. Go to bed.” Dipper waved him off dismissively before muttering something to himself as he tapped the screen.  
  
Dipper headed in and went to his room.  
  
-  
  
“I can't sleep...” Dipper sighed, after tossing and turning in his bed. There was just too much excitement that day, and honestly he was scared that if he did sleep he'd open his eyes to find himself in the cage again. Or that he'd dream of home, and...  
  
He sighed and got up, heading for the balcony of his room. He leaned on the 0plastic railing and looked over at Bill still working at his desk. “Mr. Cipher? Mr. Ciiipher?”  
  
“Hush, little one. You’ll wake your sister.” Bill wheeled his chair over to the dollhouse. “What do you need?”  
  
“I can’t sleep. Can you talk to me?” Dipper asked, leaning on the balcony a bit.  
  
“Alright, but not too long. I have things to do.” Bill rested his arms on the table the dollhouse was on. “What do you want to talk about?”  
  
“I dunno…anything, really. I just can’t sleep.” Dipper sighed. “It’s just been…really scary, ever since we got kidnapped.”  
  
“When did you get kidnapped?” Bill asked him.  
  
“It was Halloween. I don’t know how long ago, but it happened in 2011. We were almost done trick or treating, and then we saw a creepy-looking house. And normally those creepy houses had old ladies with huge candy bars, so we debated back and forth a bit before going up and ringing the doorbell. And when the door opened…” He faltered. “I don’t…remember what happened. There was a light, and then we passed out, I think. We woke up on that guy’s ship. Did you really eat him?”  
  
“I did and he was a delicious squid.” Bill grinned. “So, you got taken on October 31st, 2011?” He asked.  
  
“Uh-huh.” Dipper nodded.  
  
“Hm…according to my contact on Earth, it’s been two months since then.” Bill nodded.  
  
“You know someone on Earth? Can he get us home?” Dipper asked anxiously.  
  
“Kid…the only way out of this dimension is through a portal. I don’t have one here, so it has to be opened from somewhere else.” Bill explained. “As of right now, Earth has no active portal to the multiverse. The guy I was helping build one fell through it and then it fell apart behind him. And now he’s running loose, and I’ve been trying to find him.”  
  
“Oh…” Dipper’s shoulders slumped.  
  
“But, hey, if I can find him, maybe he can build a portal here.” Bill said, reaching out and poking Dipper’s cheek with his pinky finger. “So, cheer up, alright?”  
  
“I hope you find him.” Dipper smiled up at him.  
  
“Me too, Pine Tree. I gotta get back to what I was doing now, so you get to bed, alright?” Bill grinned and leaned in to kiss the very top of his head. “There, happy?”  
  
Dipper blushed a bit. “Just because Mabel asked for it earlier…”  
  
“Oh, should I not do that?” Bill asked, smirking.  
  
“I’m going to bed!” Dipper went in and started to close the balcony doors. “Uhm…Mr. Cipher?”  
  
“It’s okay to call me ‘Bill’, kid.” Bill chuckled.  
  
“Okay. Uhm…thanks for saving us, Bill.” He closed the balcony doors and went to climb into bed.  
  
“Someone’s getting attached.” Pyronica said in a sing-song tone from the doorway.  
  
“I am not.” Bill wheeled his chair away from the dollhouse. “What’s the report?”  
  
“He’s seen the picture, but he’s not making any moves towards here yet. He seems to be planning something.” Pyronica sighed.  
  
“Well, he’ll show up sooner or later.” Bill shrugged and went back to what he was doing when Dipper interrupted.  
  
“You _like_ those kids, don’t you?” Pyronica hummed.  
  
“They’re entertaining, and a way to pass the time. Like toys.” Bill waved her off dismissively.  
  
“Suuure.” She laughed and walked out, closing the door behind her.  
  
Bill glanced towards the dollhouse before sighing. He was NOT getting attached.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's absolutely getting attached.
> 
> ((A/N: Chapter picture! http://zonerobotnik.tumblr.com/post/170095426057/mr-cipher-mr-ciiipher-hush-little-one ))


	3. Shopping Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill takes the kids outside and to the pet store~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (x) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

When Dipper and Mabel got up the next morning, they found the contents of the platter had changed to various breakfast foods. Bill was lying down on his bed, his eye closed and a book draped over his chest like he'd fallen asleep reading. It was kind of cute, for a giant cyclops guy.  
  
“Good MORNING!” Mabel declared cheerfully. Bill's pointed ear twitched and he opened his eye a bit, his gaze turned to them. “Hi.” She smiled innocently.  
  
“You're noisy.” Bill sat up. “Eat your breakfast, Shooting Star.”  
  
“Okay!” She sat down to eat from the platter. “Can I get a plate? And syrup?”  
  
“Sure, sure.” Bill waved his hand and dishes and syrup materialized in front of them. “Why not move the table out here, too?” He snapped his fingers and they were suddenly on chairs, the platter and dishes on a table. “Need anything else?”  
  
“Nope!” Mabel smiled and started to serve herself some food as Dipper did the same.  
  
“So...what were you reading last night?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Boring ruler stuff. Seriously, it's boring. I hate the paperwork.” Bill stuck out his tongue in distaste.  
  
“Can I help?” Dipper asked.  
  
“You can't read it.” Bill shook his head. “Can you?” He picked up the device and held it up so they could see it.  
  
“...Nope.” Dipper shook his head.  
  
“I might teach you sometime.” Bill grinned and set it down. “For now, eat up. Then I gotta do some walking around, so you're going to be coming with me.”  
  
“Okay.” Dipper nodded. “Why?”  
  
“Because I want to bring you.” Bill got up and walked over to put his book on a shelf. “Why, you would rather stay home all day?”  
  
“I wanna go!” Mabel smiled.  
  
“There, see?” Bill grinned. Dipper and Mabel shrank back a bit. “Oh, right. Teeth.”  
  
“Yeah?” A voice said outside the room.  
  
“Not you, Teeth.” Bill rolled his eyes.  
  
Mabel giggled. “Whaaat?”  
  
“That's Teeth. Teeth, say hi.” Bill called.  
  
A pink guy with a big mouth and teeth on a necklace poked his head in. “Yeh?”  
  
Dipper's eyes widened a bit. “Uh...hi.” He gave a nervous wave.  
  
“Hi. Bill, Pacifier says to remind you we have a meeting.” Teeth walked away.  
  
“Bye, Teeth!” Mabel waved.  
  
“Ugh, nothing I hate more than meetings, they are more annoying than paperwork because they're so _boring_.” Bill sighed. “Alright. I'm going to my meeting, I'll pick you guys up when I'm done. Oh, and you don't have to worry about the platter. They won't go bad, and they'll change to a different meal when you next eat.”  
  
“What if we don't want it to change?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Then I won't change it.” Bill shrugged and headed for the door. “See you real soon.” He blinked at them before walking out, shutting the door behind him.  
  
“...Was he trying to wink?” Mabel asked, looking at her brother. He shrugged.  
  
–  
  
They had finished eaten and showered and changed by the time Bill came back. He was carrying his device with him and a folder that he tossed on his desk. “Okay, kids, let's go do something fun because I am _so_ annoyed by that meeting!” He walked over to them and put his hand down on the table. “I don't have one of those carrier things, so you're going to sit in my pockets until we can get one.”  
  
“I always wanted to sit in a pocket.” Mabel said as she climbed onto Bill's hand. Dipper followed, looking a little less excited about that idea.  
  
Bill snapped his fingers and pockets appeared on his vest, which he brought them up to so they could climb in and settle themselves down. “Alright, let's go!” He grabbed a cloak that matched the pattern of his vest and fastened it on, so they were hidden but could still see out.  
  
“Where are you going?” Keyhole asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood in the doorway.  
  
“Out. I need a break.” Bill walked past him.  
  
“With the humans?” Keyhole watched him go.  
  
“Yep! I'm gonna go to the pet store.” Bill gave a wave as he walked. “See ya.”  
  
“You could send someone else to--”  
  
“I _NEED_ A BREAK.” Bill snapped. Keyhole flinched and the kids covered their ears, whimpering at the volume. “...Sorry, kids.”  
  
“Have fun.” Keyhole sighed and shook his head, walking off another direction.  
  
–  
  
“Where are we going?” Mabel asked as Bill left the castle.  
  
“Why is there so much fire everywhere?” Dipper frowned, looking around.  
  
“Can you still understand us? We're not in the castle.” Mabel gasped.  
  
“Yes, I can understand you.” Bill assured them. “Don't worry, as long as you're with me or in the castle, the translation spell is in effect.”  
  
“So, where are we going?” Mabel asked.  
  
“And why is there so much fire everywhere?” Dipper repeated.  
  
“We're going to the pet store, like I told Keyhole. That was Keyhole, by the way.” He tapped his forehead. “You can recognize him by the keyhole on his forehead.” He lowered his hand. “As for the fire? Aesthetics.”  
  
“As-what?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Aesthetics. It means it's just there to give atmosphere and otherwise doesn't really serve a purpose.” Bill chuckled.  
  
“Ohh.” Dipper nodded.  
  
“Any other questions?” Bill hummed.  
  
“Uhm...what happened to those other kids?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Oh, those kids? They're just working in the castle, being entertainment for parties. Just dancing and singing, I'm not into that stuff others would use them for. They're like little canaries.” Bill grinned.  
  
“'Other stuff'?” Dipper asked.  
  
“You're twelve, right?” Bill asked.  
  
“Uh-huh.” Dipper nodded.  
  
“...I'll tell you when you're older.” Bill turned to enter a building, where a bunch of other people were gathered. When he entered, though, they froze up and moved out the way so he could approach the counter.  
  
“L-Lord Cipher.” The cashier said nervously. “I-Is everything alright?”  
  
“Yeah, I just got business here.” Bill said, leaning on the counter a bit.  
  
“B-Business?” The man swallowed nervously.  
  
“Yep.” He reached in his pockets and pulled out the twins, who swung from his fingers with shouts of surprise and glee. “I've never owned a human before. So, you'll have to show me what I need to care for them. They already have a house and food. I was thinking of looking at carriers, maybe some new clothes?”  
  
“Y-Yes, sir!” The man looked relieved. “You were being so quiet, I-I thought--”  
  
“Nah, I'm just being quiet for these kids.” Bill grinned. “So, show me?”  
  
The cashier called someone over to help Bill so he could get back to checking the person Bill cut in line out and Bill went to follow that person.  
  
“We have all sorts of supplies, Lord Cipher. As a first-time-owner, you seem to be doing a great job. Your humans seem very fond of you.” The worker smiled at the twins climbing on Bill's hands. “But, as you probably know, it's not advised to carry them in your pocket or hands, as they could get crushed in any instance.” They stopped in front of a shelf. “That's why we have these easily-adjustable, reinforced carriers for all your humans' needs! They come with a little nook for a travel bed and food dishes, both sold separately, and can be fastened on around your waist or your shoulders, depending on the kind of view you want your humans to have!”  
  
“Nice.” Bill looked at the carriers. “Let's see here. Blue, pink, purple...got any gold?”  
  
“Yes, sir!” The worker reached up and floated an item on top of the shelf down. “It's quite a bit more expensive, being covered in real gold, so we keep it where shoplifters can't easy get it.”  
  
“Smart. How much?” Bill asked.  
  
“200 Vix.” The worker held it up so the twins could look it over.  
  
“No way, that cheap? Practically a steal for something so nice.” Bill grinned, looking it over as well. “Can we see how they like it inside?”  
  
“Of course!” The worker opened it up. “The inside is padded with velvet, and all carriers come with a toilet that disintegrates waste, for minimal mess!”  
  
Bill brought the twins over to the carrier and let them climb in. “How does it fasten on?”  
  
“Well, once we get it closed up, I can demonstrate to you.” The worker said as the twins curiously moved in, Mabel first and then Dipper. “If I may ask, what are their names?”  
  
“Pine Tree and Shooting Star.” Bill smiled fondly.  
  
“Alright, we're going to close the door, okay?” The worker said as she carefully closed it, giving them ample time to back up. “For the comfort of the humans, the bars change into a wide window once the humans are inside. So their view isn't obstructed.”  
  
“Nice.” Bill smiled. “How do you like it in there, kids?”  
  
“The floor and walls are so cushy!” Mabel said, patting the floor.  
  
“It's not scary.” Dipper said, looking around. He still looked a bit scared, though.  
  
“Awesome.” Bill looked at the worker. “How do I fasten it on?”  
  
“You take these straps here and fasten them around your waist or shoulders. May I?” She held up the straps.  
  
“Sure.” Bill shrugged. “Shoulders.”  
  
She walked closer and put the carrier on his left shoulder before carefully fastening the two sets of straps, one around his neck and the other diagonally across his chest. “There. How does that feel? Oh, maybe a bit loose, let me just...adjust it.” The worker carefully adjusted the straps before stepping back. “There. How's that?”  
  
“Feels good.” Bill smiled and looked at the carrier. “I can see them if they're up against the door.” He looked at the worker. “We'll buy it. What else do you recommend?”  
  
“Well, for such a high quality carrier, you'll want to get high quality dishes and a bed, so let me get those down those. Oh, you have two, so would you like a bunk bed?”  
  
“Nah, they can share.” Bill said, shaking his head.  
  
“If ever you get tired of having them on your shoulder, there is a carry handle on the top of the carrier.” The worker said, indicating it. “Now, let's go look at those beds.”  
  
Dipper and Mabel sat against the door, watching as Bill walked around the shop with the worker. When they got to a toys and clothes section, Bill showed them the different options to see what they liked.  
  
“Can't you just create this stuff?” Mabel asked as she admired a fancy dress.  
  
“I can, but I thought I'd get you some stuff made with materials not found on Earth. The things in the dollhouse are all replicated from Earth, and there is some really high quality stuff out in the multiverse.” Bill smiled as he nodded to the worker and they moved on. “That particular dress is made by the silkworm people of Trexilus, and they have the finest silks in the multiverse. That's something to wear for _really_ special occasions.”  
  
“Ohh.” Mabel nodded.  
  
“Was there anything else you were looking for?” The worker asked.  
  
“No, I think this is everything.” Bill nodded.  
  
“Then, we'll take your basket to the front and I'll ring you up.” She led the way and Bill followed. As before, the customers moved out of the way for them and the worker signed into another register so the other guy wouldn't have to stop what he was doing.  
  
“That'll be 5000 Vix.” The worker said after scanning everything.  
  
Bill handed over a card and the worker scanned it before handing it back. “Awesome, you've been great.” He picked up the bag his purchases had been put into and waved. “Thanks.” He headed out, shutting the door behind him. A look back inside and he saw the customers go back to what they were doing, visibly relieved he was gone.  
  
“Where are we going now?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Hm...well, we got all this stuff. We may as well go back home and put it away. We'll go out again another time.” Bill headed back to the castle.  
  
“Okay!” Mabel smiled.  
  
“I'm feeling a bit sleepy.” Dipper admitted.  
  
“Well, you're young, and we had a busy shopping day.” Bill shrugged. “We can all have a nap.”  
  
“Can we sleep on top of you? Like Totoro?” Mabel asked eagerly.  
  
“Totoro?” Bill raised his eyebrow. “I don't...hold on.” He closed his eye, seeming to be focusing on something. “Ah. That, uhm, Japanese show. Sure, why not.” He opened his eye again.  
  
Mabel giggled.  
  
They made their way back into the castle and headed for their room. When they reached the hallway, Bill stopped short and sighed. “Pacifier. Did you need something?”  
  
The black demon raised an eyebrow at him. “What is on your shoulder?”  
  
“A carrier, obviously.” Bill rolled his eyes. “I went to the pet shop.”  
  
“You are killing your image, you know.” Pacifier sighed heavily.  
  
“Considering this whole look isn't really my _real_ appearance, I think I can look however the hell I want to.” Bill walked to the door and opened it, unfastening the carrier's straps as he walked to the desk.  
  
“The Jexkor company is refusing to pay.” Pacifier said. “They intend to fight you for it.”  
  
“Then deal with it.” Bill set the carrier and bag down on the desk and opened the carrier so they could climb out.  
  
“Do you want me to kill them?” Pacifier asked.  
  
“No, I want you to subdue them. No need to destroy them yet. One guy, sure, but this is a _company_. Kill the leader, another just takes his place. And he's made a martyr.” Bill turned to Pacifier. “Actually, I'll handle it. Get Pyronica and Keyhole and meet me at the throne room.” He looked at the kids. “Looks like our nap will have to wait.”  
  
“Aww.” Mabel pouted.  
  
“Can we go with you?” Dipper asked.  
  
“...No. Maybe another time.” Bill walked to the door. “See you later, kids.” He walked out with Pacifier, closing the door behind him.  
  
As soon as the door was closed, he sighed softly and then smoothed out his vest before tugging on his gloves. “Let's go get the others and take care of the problem.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill would rather play with the kids.
> 
> ((A/N: Since Bill is in a humanoid form, so is everyone else that doesn't normally look humanoid. Also, the naked ones are wearing clothes because some cultures don't like nudity. I'll draw the Henchmaniacs after I decide on how they look.))


	4. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no other plans, Bill and the twins go out for a fun day at the park!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

Bill went out a lot. Dipper had pieced together that he was a crime lord that ruled over the nightmare Realm, and for some insane reason people would set up shop in there. Probably because, aside from Bill's fees, the place was pretty much lawless. Some guy named Time Baby had his officers everywhere but this one place, and while others could go in and out, Bill himself could not. It seemed that his higher-up staff also couldn't. Something about being cursed to be trapped here until the dimension fell apart around him.   
  
Which is where the portal came in. Dipper sat on Bill's shoulder and listened as he told him about how Stanford Pines, who was apparently their uncle – but not the one he'd known since he was a baby, that was Stan _ley_ , apparently – was making things difficult and not just coming to Bill to figure out the portal issue.  
  
Even with his family involved.  
  
“Maybe we can record a message?” Dipper asked. “And give directions?”  
  
“It's risky enough that I put out your picture for him to see. I'm not going to risk someone coming in and taking you from me while I'm away.” Bill huffed. “No, he knows how to come to me. He just needs to let one of my agents actually _catch_ him.”  
  
“Bill?” Mabel poked her head up from what she was knitting. “Can we have a New Year's party?”  
  
“New Year's Party?” Bill laughed a bit. “The new year's already passed, kid. It's halfway through January now.”  
  
“Oh.” Mabel pouted. “Okay, then how about Valentine's Day? Can we have a Valentine's Day party?”  
  
“Sure, why not.” Bill smiled.  
  
“Hooray! With chocolate?” Mabel beamed.  
  
“Sure, why not.” Bill chuckled.  
  
“And the other kids can attend!” Mabel nodded.  
  
“Naturally.” Bill nodded.  
  
“What's your contact on Earth like?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Hm? Oh, he's...charming. Young. I've mostly been communicating with him through dreams, he's not yet ready to summon me.” Bill ran his finger across the device he was holding and it changed pages. “Looks like everything's going okay. No more trouble with the Jexkor company. Should be free to actually have some fun today.”  
  
“Alright!” Mabel cheered. “Can we play with fireworks in the park?”  
  
“Sure, we can do that. I can conjure some up for you.” Bill grinned.  
  
“There's a park here?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Well, it's not exactly green grass and blue skies, but we do have a gathering spot with a fountain of blood.” Bill shrugged as they cringed. “It's the Nightmare Realm, what do you expect of it?”  
  
“I keep forgetting we live in the Nightmare Realm.” Mabel admitted.  
  
Bill chuckled. “Well, we can change the blood to wine, if you want.”  
  
“Might smell better.” Dipper nodded.  
  
“I'm sure the citizens will enjoy the free wine.” Bill grinned and got up to set them on the desk and get out the carrier. “Let's just get set up and then I'll check in with Pacifier to make sure there's no meetings I've forgotten about.”  
  
“I hope not.” Mabel said as she and Dipper climbed in and went to sit on the bed.   
  
“We'll see.” Bill hummed and closed the carrier, the bars changing into a window for them. Then he lifted it up and strapped it on before going out of the room.  
  
\--  
  
“Pacifier!” Bill said as he walked up to the other demon. “Do I have any plans today?”  
  
“Not that I know of.” Pacifier looked up from polishing a chain and raised an eyebrow. “But you apparently have _something_ planned.”  
  
“We're going to the park, to have a lovely time with fireworks. I'm also going to change the blood fountain into a wine fountain, care to join us?” Bill grinned.  
  
“I don't play with humans like you do, Cipher.” Pacifier chuckled. “And, in respect of your childish opinions, I have chosen not to take any human slaves. But, I will not participate in your silly games. Go ask Pyronica if she'll join you and your dolls in the park. I'm not interested.”  
  
“Wow, you just _can't_ go a day without insulting me, can you?” Bill rolled his eye. “Alright, I'll ask Pyronica.” He walked out of the room.  
  
“Doesn't he like you?” Dipper asked Bill as they walked down the hall.  
  
“He puts up with me. Pyronica was his leader when I met them, and he still adheres to her choices. He's right, though. Compared to the rest of them, I'm actually very young.” Bill chuckled. “I'm just the most powerful, and that's why I'm the leader.”  
  
“How old are you?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Older than your planet Earth.” Bill smiled at her.  
  
“And they're even _older_?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Yep.” Bill grinned.  
  
“Wow. I had no idea Earth was so young compared to the rest of the universe.” Dipper said in awe.  
  
“Yeah, you guys are babies compared to us.” Bill laughed.  
  
“Look at you, all dressed up.” Pyronica walked up to them. “Where are you off to?”  
  
“The park. Wanna come?” Bill grinned.  
  
“Sure.” Pyronica shrugged. “Let's go to the park. I've got nothing else planned.”  
  
“We're gonna set off fireworks!” Mabel said happily.  
  
“Fireworks? Ohh, I love fireworks!” Pyronica said gleefully. “Bill makes the best kinds, you know!”  
  
Bill chuckled. “Let's head out, then.”  
  
As they headed out, they passed by Keyhole who looked at them with a raised brow and shook his head with an amused smile before he headed in.  
  
–  
  
The park was full of demons – at least until Bill and Pyronica showed up. Then they scattered to the edges to give them lots of space, which suited Bill fine. He snapped his fingers to change the fountain from blood into wine and then sat down on the rim to take off the carrier and let out the kids. “Here we are.”  
  
They climbed out and looked around. The park certainly wasn't what they were used to. Instead of green grass and trees, there were creepy statues of various creatures and fire and stone. The wine fountain blurbled pleasantly at them as it flowed the red, sweet-smelling liquid and honestly it was currently the nicest part about the place.  
  
And it wasn't even an original part of it.  
  
“Does this place have to be so scary?” Mabel asked.  
  
“It's the _Nightmare Realm_ , Shooting Star.” Bill laughed. “What did you _expect_ it to be like?”  
  
“I dunno...I guess less scary.” Mabel shrugged. “I mean, you aren't so scary.”  
  
“Not to _you_.” Bill grinned as wide as possible, showing all his sharp teeth. “I'm _**terrifying**_ to others.”  
  
“Okay, uhm, _that_ 's scary.” Dipper said nervously. Mabel nodded in agreement.  
  
“Alright, no more being scary.” Pyronica laughed. “Now, you promised them fireworks.”  
  
“I did.” Bill nodded and snapped his fingers a few times, conjuring up fireworks that lit up the area. Mabel and Dipper ohhh'd and aaaah'd in excitement. Then Bill got up and started to do a bit of a dance, snapping his fingers and clapping his hands to make more of a show. Pyronica lifted the twins onto her shoulders so they could get a better view, cheering him on.   
  
Finally, he clapped and spread out his hands to let off a big fireworks display before sitting down next to Pyronica. “Ahh, that was fun! Did you enjoy it, kids?”  
  
“Uh-huh!” Mabel nodded enthusiastically.  
  
“That was cool!” Dipper grinned.  
  
“Glad ya liked it.” Bill tipped his hat and blinked at them. Mabel and Dipper laughed in response to his attempt to wink again. “Alright, had enough of the park? Not really much to see here. I mean, we could go check out the statues.”  
  
“No, I think we're done.” Mabel shook her head with a smile.  
  
“Pine Tree?” Pyronica looked at him.  
  
“Yeah, I'm done.” Dipper nodded.  
  
“Alright. Let's head back, then.” Bill picked up the carrier and held it up so they could climb in from Pyronica's shoulder.  
  
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Pyronica smiled.  
  
“Yeah, actually. I don't often come out here, but I did enjoy it.” He closed up the carrier and strapped it on before they left together, Bill snapping his fingers to change the fountain back as they left.  
  
“Good to hear.” Pyronica patted his other shoulder with a smile. “You've been needing a bit of fun, you've been working too much.”  
  
“Well...we gotta get out of this place somehow.” Bill shrugged.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other residents of the Nightmare Realm are a little scared of this happy Bill. Usually when he's happy, it's because someone is going to die.


	5. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How quickly time passes, it's summer on Earth! Time to meet some new friends~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

Bill sat down in his chair and opened his hand to let Mabel climb out and down onto the table. Then he took a folder from Pyronica and opened it up as Mabel looked around at the rest of the table, her eyes wide as saucers.  
  
“Alright, let's get this meeting started. The sooner we do it, the sooner we can finish it.” Bill said as he set the folder down and lowered his hands to the table.  
  
“Right, uh...” Teeth faltered, looking at him. Mabel had grabbed onto Bill's finger and was dancing around with it, giggling and humming as Bill casually moved his hand as she wished, being a rather expert dance partner while not even looking her way.  
  
Pacifier and Keyhole looked over at Bill silently as Pyronica stifled a giggle behind her hand. “Uhm…hey, boss?” Keyhole spoke up.  
  
“Yes?” Bill asked, glancing at them.  
  
“Since when do you take your, uh….pets…to the meetings?” Keyhole asked.  
  
“Since I decided to.” Bill said, glancing back at what he was reading.  
  
“What…is she dancing to?” Pacifier asked.  
  
“The music in her head. Unless you’d like to turn on something.” Bill said, not looking up from what he was reading.  
  
“Where’s the other one?” Keyhole asked.  
  
“He’s in the library of the dollhouse.” Bill replied.  
  
“Why–”  
  
“Why have we not taken down this building yet? Gee, maybe because you’re too busy being distracted by Shooting Star.” Bill snapped, pushing what he was reading towards them.  
  
The laughter Pyronica was holding back slipped out and she disguised it with a cough.  
  
“Something to say, Ronnie?” Bill asked.  
  
“Nope, nothing at all.” She giggled a bit.  
  
“Remind me whose weakness those two are supposed to be?” Pacifier asked Keyhole quietly. Keyhole just sighed and grabbed the file Bill passed their way.  
  
Mabel stopped her dancing and pulled his finger down to kiss the tip of it before she started dancing again. Bill let a small smile slip before the serious expression returned as he returned to business mode.  
  
–  
  
Dipper sat back with one of the many books Bill had conjured up, copies from Earth at his request, and eagerly buried himself in the mystery as he clicked a pen in and out rapidly, making little notes in a notepad with his own deductions as the story progressed. The best part of reading mystery novels, he found, was solving the mystery himself before the novel detective. He wanted to be a detective when he grew up, or a ghost buster! Those were cool, too. And supernatural mysteries? Oh, those were the best.  
  
He heard the door open and went out to greet Bill and Mabel. “Hey! How was the meeting?”  
  
“Meeting went fine.” Bill set Mabel down on the desk. “Shooting Star made it more entertaining, and therefore much more bearable.”  
  
“I didn't understand anything!” Mabel laughed.  
  
“Good book?” Bill asked, pulling his chair over and sitting in it.  
  
“Mmhm.” Dipper smiled. “It's at a really cool part!”  
  
“Awesome. Glad you like it.” Bill smiled and rested his arms on the desk. “So, I do have to tell you something. My contact wants to summon me soon, so I'll probably be busy for a little while.”  
  
“Aww, what? Boo!” Mabel pouted.  
  
“Really?” Dipper sighed sadly.  
  
“I'll be back.” Bill assured them. “I'm just going to be busy for a little bit, that's all. Pyronica will take care of you while I'm busy.”  
  
Mabel sighed sadly. “But, we'll miss you.”  
  
“What month is it on Earth now?” Dipper asked.  
  
“June. Summer just started.” Bill tilted his head to the side. “Why?”  
  
“Just...wondering if our birthday passed yet or not.” Dipper shrugged. “We're gonna be turning 13. Big year.”  
  
“It's at the end of summer!” Mabel smiled.  
  
“Well, not yet. And, if all goes as planned, you'll hopefully be back on Earth for your birthday.” Bill rubbed Mabel's head with his finger affectionately.  
  
“You mean if our uncle comes and helps you open the portal?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Yep.” Bill nodded. “Which will, hopefully, happen soon. I've got a pretty good lead on him, should get him soon.”  
  
“Can we meet your contact?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Uhm...not yet. Maybe in the future. I hope that you'll be able to meet him in person, when we all go to Earth together.” Bill shrugged.  
  
“Hopefully before our birthday!” Mabel nodded.  
  
“For now, though, I gotta answer his summoning. Take care of yourselves, okay? If you need anything, Pyronica will be checking in.” He got up and headed for the door.  
  
“Waaaaait!” Mabel called out. Bill stopped and looked over at her. “Can you give us a kiss?”  
  
Bill walked over and smiled. “Okay.” He sat down again and leaned in to kiss her head before doing the same to Dipper. “There. I'll see you both later.” He blinked at them before heading out of the room and closing the door behind him.  
  
“I'm gonna miss him.” Mabel sighed.  
  
–  
  
“Where IS he?” Gideon Gleeful muttered as he stood by a summoning circle. He'd done the incantation. Did he mess something up? The area around him turned gray and then a yellow triangle appeared in the air before it changed shape into a more humanoid form. “Ah, finally.”  
  
“Sorry about the wait!” Bill grinned, twirling his cane. “I had some business to attend to. So, you ready to make a Deal?”  
  
“I'm experiencing some trouble with my goals. Wendy Corduroy has one of the journals, but won't give it up to me, and she has been _constantly_ in my way, with the help of Stanford Pines and their...cohorts.” Gideon made a face. “I need your help to keep them out of my way so I can continue with my plans.”  
  
“Of course, of course!” Bill grinned. “And whatever else you need, just let me know. All I ask is that you do a _**favor**_ for me.” He extended a hand to the boy, his hand engulfed in blue flame.  
  
“Whatever you need, just name it.” Gideon took his hand and shook it.  
  
“It's a _**Deal**_!” Bill grinned.  
  
“Hey!” They both looked over as a red-haired teenager came out of the bushes. “What are you up to now, Gideon?!”  
  
“Whoops, trouble!” Bill snapped his fingers and the teen was blocked by rising vines. “You better skedaddle, Gid. Those vines won't hold off her axe for long.” He glanced at the hacking sounds.  
  
Gideon nodded and gathered up his stuff, hurrying away. Bill grinned as the vines were cut down fully. “Well, well, well! If it isn't Ice!”  
  
“My _name_ is _Wendy_.” She said, frowning. “What are you planning with Gideon? Who are you?”  
  
“Name's Bill Cipher! And I get the feeling we're going to get to know each other _very_ well!” Bill blinked at her. “Especially since you've got one of the Journals! Hey, I know! As a meeting gift, here's some deer teeth!” He snapped his fingers and a nearby deer's teeth flew out and into his hands. “For you!”  
  
“Ew, gross!” She stepped back. “Put them back!”  
  
“No? Alright.” Bill snapped his fingers and the teeth went back where they belonged. “Anyways, I look forward to stopping you from stopping Gideon!” He grinned widely. “We're going to have LOTS of FUN!”  
  
“Somehow, I doubt your definition of 'fun' matches ours.” Wendy frowned.  
  
Bill laughed. “Well, gotta go! Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, BUY GOLD, BYYYYYE!” He vanished in a flash of light and color returned to the world.  
  
“...What...the HELL...was THAT?” Wendy shook her head.  
  
“Wendy!” Stan ran up to her with Soos and Robbie Valentino. “Who was that?”  
  
“His name's Bill Cipher. He's Gideon's lackey.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Looks like things are going to be...'fun'.”  
  
“Yeesh.” Robbie frowned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wendy didn't ask for this annoyance.
> 
> ((A.N: Hey, look! Another picture! With some slight dialogue changes, since Bill's taken the kids out of their room many times by now. http://zonerobotnik.tumblr.com/post/170097663372/pacifier-and-keyhole-looked-over-at-bill-silently ))

**Author's Note:**

> Can the twins get home?


End file.
